Asgardian Mead is the Devil
by elegantmesspotter
Summary: Ughh, too much light... No curtains? Really? She was definitely not in the Bellagio anymore. Her head was pounding. She raised her arm to cover her eyes and her hand dragged across flesh. Someone else's naked flesh. She tried to mentally sort out what had happened the night before. She blamed Stark. And Thor. But mostly Stark.


Even with her eyes shut, the light was too bright. The light streamed in through the open window. No curtains? Really? This was a lousy hotel and she definitely not in the Bellagio anymore. Her head was pounding and her mouth felt too nasty to describe. No more whiskey… never ever again. "Son of a bitch…" she groaned and the noise of her own voice made her headache immeasurably worse. No tequila either…

She raised her arm to cover her eyes and her hand dragged across flesh. Someone else's naked flesh. The other person groaned. 'Shit!' she thought as she pulled away. She rolled over carefully, mindful of the fact that if she moved too quickly she would probably be sick to her stomach. She opened her bleary eyes. There was a decidedly male body lying beside her and a groan from the end of the bed as well.

She sat up abruptly. "The hell?" she gasped. Two guys? Her head began to swim and she flopped gracelessly back on the bed. Oh, merciful flying spaghetti monster, let it be Bucky and Steve. She was definitely naked; she yanked the sheet back up to her chin. From her brief but blurry glance around the room and the amount of scattered clothes on the floor and furniture, she was fairly certain they were naked too.

The first guy groaned again and she wondered where her glasses were. If she'd had the pleasure of banging maybe one or both of the guys last night (and her lady bits were pleasantly sore enough to say she probably had) she at least wanted to be certain who they were. Sex with Steve and Bucky would be good. Strangers? Not so good, actually it would be really bad. Her hand felt around on the table behind her, hoping to find her glasses there.

"Jackpot!" her voice was gravelly.

The first guy chuckled. She put on her glasses and sat up a little as he pulled a pillow over his head. Blonde hair, broad beautifully sculpted shoulders, muscles for miles and a narrow tapered waist. Yep, that was Steve. And judging by the glimpse of longish dark hair on the guy at the end of the bed, Bucky too. Good. Sex with her boyfriend and their casual/ sometimes third? Very good. Actually even though she couldn't remember it, she knew it was probably fantastic. She groaned, knowing it was Bucky and Steve, she really wished she could remember. Steve didn't join them often, (she'd prefer it to be all the time), but when he did… well hot damn was the most accurate description.

She carefully laid back and tried to mentally sort out what had happened the night before. She blamed Stark. And Thor. But mostly Stark. Thor and Jane had gotten engaged forever ago but they hadn't done anything about it. Stark was fishing for a reason to party, that was his primary goal in persuading Thor they should all run to Las Vegas to make certain Thor and Jane did the deed. Thor loved the idea and they all piled in Stark's personal jet that afternoon, with Jane protesting "But science!" the whole way. Well not the whole way, Stark had a bar on the jet. And the man knew how to make an awesome margarita. Jane was pretty chill after her second one.

Natasha and Pepper had whisked Jane and Darcy away to shop for dresses when the jet landed. Stark had insisted on paying for everything and so they had gone to an elegant bridal boutique. Two hours later the whole group reconvened at a gorgeous chapel in the Bellagio. The Terrazza di Sogno was a small, marble-floored terrace that overlooked the lake. Stark had worked his celebrity status magic and arranged a sunset wedding for Thor and Jane. It was by far the most beautiful and sophisticated affair Darcy had ever been part of. After the vows were spoken, their small group had moved to an elegant celebration room. They had a small group initially. Jane, and Thor, Darcy, Erik, Stark, Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Sam, Steve, and Bucky.

Darcy and Jane, the relative lightweights, were buzzed fairly early in the evening. Thor had tried a variety of the liquors from the bar but had been unimpressed, declaring even 190 proof Everclear to be weak and ineffective. He disappeared for a while and returned with two large kegs.

"Asgardian Mead!" Thor declared. Within an hour, the elegant and classy reception became a full-blown Stark party (Pre-Ten Rings abduction or so Pepper had complained). Pepper, Rhodey, Natasha, and Sam had their hands full trying to corral and maintain the Avengers and crew. Bruce had to duck out early when the group became too rowdy. They were going to have enough to deal with; they didn't need Other Guy problems as well. Darcy's last clear memory was of laughing her ass off as a drunk Steve and a very drunk Bucky sang You Got a Friend in Me, karaoke style.

Darcy reached up to brush the hair off of her face and her hair caught on something. She squinted up at her hand. There was a platinum band on her third finger… A platinum ring on her ring finger… on her left hand…

"What… The… Actual… Fuck…" She growled. There was a glint of light from Steve's hand beside her. She scrambled up, ignoring the pounding headache, and began pulling at Steve's left hand. A thicker matching band confirmed her fears. "Holy fucking hell."

Bucky pushed himself up a little and gave her a sleepy grin, "What'sa matter doll?"

She lay back. "I'm a fucking bad Vegas cliché. That's what's wrong."

Steve pulled the pillow off of his head and smiled at the matching rings on their hands.

Bucky's grin faltered when he looked at Darcy.

Darcy felt like complete shit, she'd drunk married Steve. "God Buck, I don't know what happened. I don't remember a damn thing about last night, I know we've been including Steve, but I just don't know what happened last night and god I am so sorry…" She rolled away from both of them as tears welled up in her eyes as if she didn't already look like shit and she had to go and add what was surely going to be an ugly cry and she had probably destroyed her relationship with Bucky or god what if she had damaged their lifelong friendship or what if…

Bucky had crawled up beside her. "Doll," he whispered so softly. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. Steve pulled himself closer behind her and Bucky moved so he was kneeling on the floor in front of her. They were both quiet and she could tell they were doing that silent conversation through meaningful looks thing again.

She couldn't stand it anymore. They were going to be fine. To the end of the line, and all that. She pushed away from both of them, stumbling through the room still sobbing, and gathered her clothes. She locked herself in the bathroom despite both of their protests. She turned on the shower so she couldn't hear them and they couldn't hear her.

She emptied her stomach. Asgardian Mead was the devil. Screw that, all alcohol was evil. "I am never drinking again," she mumbled as she rested her cheek against the cool porcelain. God, she hated having a hangover, she always ended up way over emotional.

She stepped under the tepid spray, hoping to wash away everything from the night before. They probably couldn't get an annulment, they had definitely consummated last night. She'd have to see if she could get Pepper to work some legal magic for her. Stark Industries legal department surely had dealt with crazier stuff before. Hopefully they could take care of it quietly enough; she really didn't want to be known as the woman that tarnished America's golden boy. It wasn't as if she didn't like Steve. Far from it. She knew she loved Bucky and had been growing closer to Steve as well. But married to Steve was bad. She was dating Bucky. Steve was only involved sometimes. This would likely put a huge wedge in the middle of their carefully constructed… threesome… relationship… triad… well whatever the hell it was.

She washed with the crappy hotel soap, her hair would likely be a frizzy mess later but right now she was focused on getting clean, getting the hell out of there, and trying to find Pepper. She stepped out of the shower but left the water running. One thought kept circling her brain, 'Oh no. What have I done?' She began to dry off and get dressed. She could hear Steve and Bucky arguing quietly on the other side of the thin door. She startled as Bucky raised his voice.

"No! I can't… I won't lose-" Bucky sounded almost desperate.

"You won't. I promise you, nothing's gonna-" Steve tried to reassure Bucky.

There was a grunt from Steve, it sounded like Bucky may have pushed him. "You can't promise something when you got no idea how this is all gonna play out. Dammit Steve, not everything's always sunshine and roses!" Bucky growled.

Darcy could feel the tears threatening to fall again. She couldn't just run away, she had to make this right. She pulled on her wrinkled dress. It would probably never look as nice as the night before. Metaphor for her life really. She took a deep breath, turned off the shower water, and stepped out of the bathroom. Both Steve and Bucky stood fully dressed in one corner of the hotel room as she walked out. They turned and she found she couldn't look them in the eyes.

She spoke quickly to the floor. "I'll talk to Pepper. I'm sure Tony's done stupider things that their legal department has taken care of. We can get them to dissolve it. I'm really sorry guys. I swear I never meant to… I just… I don't…" She tried to walk passed them but they both stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. They walked her to the bed and sat her down carefully.

Bucky knelt on the floor in front of her, holding both of her hands in his. Steve was on the end of the bed, close but not quite touching her. "Darce…" Bucky implored.

She shook her head and couldn't look at him.

"Come on Doll, you gotta talk to us. You gotta let us know what you're thinking." Steve's voice was calm.

She took a shuddery breath, "I'll get it fixed. I am so so sorry."

"Do you not want this?" Bucky's voice sounded so small.

She did but she wanted Bucky too. She was a greedy bitch to think that she could have them both especially when she'd gone and married the one she wasn't actually dating. Bucky looked so disappointed. "Oh god Bucky, I'm so sorry." She shook her head again as her tears fell unchecked. He pulled back. He stood up and began to pace.

"I told you she wasn't ready." Steve grumbled. He walked over to Bucky and grabbed his sleeve forcing Bucky to stop and look at him. "She was too drunk and we shouldn't have..." Steve went on; Darcy was still crying and hardly paying any attention to the guys.

"Wait," Bucky had a sudden thought. "HEY!" he shouted trying get both Steve and Darcy to focus for a moment. He hurried back in front of Darcy, cupping her face in his hands trying to get her to look at him. "Darce… doll, you said you don't remember anything from last night. What's the last thing you do remember?"

She struggled for a second with the non sequitur. "When you guys were singing karaoke. Why?"

He gave her a huge grin and swept her up. "Stupid Asgardian Mead!"

She pushed on him as her head swam and her stomach lurched. "Whoa chill dude. No super serum here to fend off a nasty hangover. Swing me around too much, and it'll get messy."

He set her down carefully. "Darcy, you remember the conversation we a couple of days after Siberia?" She nodded. "Look, I know you asked me not to, but I talked to Steve about it…" she groaned and tried to pull away from him but he held fast. "…and he liked the idea."

She went still, her mouth was dry, and heart was beating madly. She carefully took his metal hand, his left hand, in hers and looked at it. There was a new link around his third finger. In her panic, she hadn't noticed it. It wasn't quite a ring but it was attached to his ring finger. It was platinum like hers and Steve's but it was almost flush with his hand, it wouldn't interfere with the mechanisms or the flexibility of his hand, but it was still there, beautiful and permanent.

"I don't understand. The laws don't work like that, its polygamy, or, or-"

"It doesn't matter. It's not what the courts say, it's what we decide." Steve said softly. He stood behind her. He carefully wrapped his arms around her, his larger left hand cupping hers as she held Bucky's left hand. "Tony went online last night and got ordained by The Church of the Flying Macaroni Monster or whatever it's called, and performed an impromptu wedding for the three of us at about two in the morning. It won't ever be considered anything real in the eyes of the legal system, but if we honor it, that's all that matters."

She pulled them both close. She smiled finally. This had been what she wanted, it was a bit sudden, but they were her boys, and now they were officially hers. They stayed like that for some time. She felt so safe so comfortable. An odd thought occurred to her and she began to giggle. Bucky pulled back, "Doll?"

"I really am a bad Vegas cliché. I'm married to two guys; I don't even know my last name!"

* * *

You'll have to forgive me if Darcy seems a bit too emotional or OOC. I blame the mead. I've always been a bit overemotional when hungover and I may have thrown that in cause it was what worked with the story. I tend to prefer my Darcy strong with a large side of sassy.

Just so everyone knows this is the 4th in a series of one-shots.

1 Playfighting with Bucky

2 Bucky's Revelation or When the Soldier Came Out

3 It's Cold Outside

4 Asgardian Mead is the Devil

That much being said I really enjoyed writing this series of one-shots and I think I'm going to wrap up the series with this one, but I am open to suggestions. What do you guys think?


End file.
